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Chapman and Idle


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Bus Conductor Sketch
   was performed by   
Chapman and Idle
"Nobody can say 'fivepenny please' and make it funny."
Show-jumping (musical)
   was performed by   
Chapman and Idle
Presenter Dorian Williams: "And, she's taken it!! She's over the Minstrels. She just flicked Leslie Crowther with her tail, but the time's good, and now she turns before coming into the final jump ... this is a tough one. It's Ben-Hur ... forty-six chariots ... 6,000 spectators ... 400 slaves, lion-handlers, the Emperor Nero and the entire Coliseum. 198 feet high. 400 years across!"
The BBC is Short of Money
   was performed by   
Chapman and Idle
News reader: "The BBC wishes to deny rumours that it is going into liquidation. Mrs Kelly, who owns the flat where they live, has said that they can stay on till the end of the month ..."
Mrs. Thing and Mrs. Entity
   was performed by   
Chapman and Idle
Mrs. Thing: "Mrs Stanley Baldwin used to have to get up at five o'clock in the morning and go out and catch partridges with her bare hands!" Mrs. Entity: "Yes... and Mrs William Pitt the Elder used to have to get up at three o'clock and go burrowing for truffles with the bridge of her nose." Mrs. Thing: "Mrs Beethoven used to have to get up at midnight to spur on the mynah bird." Mrs. Entity: "Lazy creatures, mynah birds..." Mrs. Thing: "Yes. When Beethoven went deaf the mynah bird just used to mime."
Norwegian Party Political Broadcast
   was performed by   
Chapman and Idle
Norwegian: "Ik tvika nasai..." (subtitle: 'Good evening') Norwegian: "...Stivianka sobjiord ki niyanska ik takka Norge weginda zokiy yniet..." (subtitle: You may think it strange that we should be asking you to vote Norwegian at the next election') Norwegian: "...Ik vietta nogiunda sti jibiora..." (subtitle: 'But consider the advantages') Norwegian: "Sti glikka in Norge tijik dinstianna gildoosi stiiioska kary." (subtitle: 'We have an annual re-investment rate of 14%') Norwegian: "E in Norge we haua siddinkarvo dikinik chaila osto tykka hennakska." (subtitle: 'And girls with massive knockers!')






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