Medical Slang

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45C    means    Patient is One Chromosome Short of a Full Set (thick)

Acades Vulgaris    means    Medical Students.

Acute Hyponicotaemia    means    Desperate for Nicotine Fix (cigarette)

Acute Lead Poisoning    means    Gunshot Wound

Acute Pneumoencephalopathy    means    Airhead

Adminisphere    means    Where Hospital Managers Work, Reckoned to Be "another Planet"

ADR    means    Ain’t Doing Right

AGA    means    Acute Gravity Attack (fell Over)

AGMI    means    Ain't Gonna Make It (won't Survive)

AHF    means    Acute Hissy Fit

Air-conditioned    means    Multiple Gun Shot Wounds

Albatross    means    Chronically Ill Patient Who Will Remain With a Doctor Until One or Other of Them Expire

ALC    means    A La Casa (send the Patient Home)

ALS    means    Absolute Loss of Sanity

APD    means    Acute Prozac Deficiency (depression)

Appy    means    Person With Suspected Appendicitis

AQR    means    Ain't Quite Right

ART    means    Assuming Room Temperature (dead)

Ash Cash    means    Money for Signing a Cremation Form

Ash Point    means    Where You Collect the Ash Cash

Assmosis    means    Promotion by "kissing Ass"

AST    means    Assuming Seasonal Temperature (dead)

ATD    means    Acute Tylenol Deficiency (simple Fever or Head Cold)

ATS    means    Acute Thespian Syndrome: Faking Illness

Aunt Minnie Lesion    means    Once Seen, Never Forgotten, Much Like Certain Aunts at the Family Wedding

Ax(e)    means    Surgeon

Baby Catcher    means    Obstetrician

Babygram    means    X-raying (radiographing) a Newborn

Bagged and Tagged (B&T)    means    Body Ready for Dispatch to Morgue

Banana    means    Patient With Jaundice

Bash Cash    means    The Money Paid for Completing Accident (insurance) Claim Forms in A&E

BBCS    means    Bumps, Bruises, Cuts and Scrapes (i.e. No Serious Injuries)

BBL Sign (Belly-button Lint Sign)    means    Male, Middle-aged, Overweight and Hairy

Beached Whale    means    Obese Patient Unable to Do Much for Him/herself Except Lie There With Flailing Arms and Legs

Benny    means    Patient on Benefit (welfare Payments)

Betty    means    A Patient With Diabetes

BFH    means    Brat From Hell

Blade    means    Surgeon: Dashing, Bold, Arrogant and Often Wrong, but Never in Doubt

Blamestorming    means    Apportioning of Blame for Mistakes Usually to any locum or lowliest medic in sight

Blood Suckers    means    Those Who Take Blood Samples, E.g. Lab Techs

Blown Mind    means    Gunshot Wound to the Head.

Blue Blower    means    Patient With Severe Lung Disease

Blue Pipe    means    Vein

BOHICA    means    Bend Over, Here It Comes Again

BoneHo    means    An Off-service Resident Working in Orthopedics

Bones and Groans    means    Non-specialist General Hospital

Boogie or Goober    means    Tumour.

Bounceback    means    Patient Who Keeps Returning to the Hospital

Bounce    means    Returning a Turfed Patient Back to Original Dept

Box    means    To Die

Brain Fry    means    Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT) for Depression

Brothel Sprouts    means    - Genital Wart

Buff    means    Re-hash the Patient's Story to Make It Sound More Appropriate for the Patient to Be Referred to Another Dept

Buff Up    means    To Ready a Patient for Release

Bug Juice    means    Antibiotics

Bugs in the Rug    means    Pubic Parasite Infestation

Bull in the Ring    means    Blockage in the Large Intestine

BUNDY    means    But Unfortunately Not Dead Yet

Bungee Jumper    means    A Patient Who Pulls on His Catheter Tube

Bunny Boiler    means    (Psych) Dangerously Obsessive or Unbalance Woman

Bury the Hatchet    means    Accidently Leave a Surgical Instrument Inside a Patient.

BVA    means    Breathing Valuable Air

BWCO    means    Baby Won't Come Out (needs Caesarian)

Cabbage    means    Heart Bypass

Callbellectomy    means    Minor Operation

Call Button Jockey    means    Patient That Uses Call Button All Night Long for No Good Reason.

Captain Kangaroo    means    Chairman of a Paediatrics Department.

Cath Jockey    means    Cardiologist That Catheterizes Every Patient They See

CBT    means    Chronic Burger/Biscuit Toxicity (obesity)

CCFCCP    means    Coo-coo for Co-Co Puffs (dementia or Similar)

Ceiling Sign    means    Near-levitation from the Bed to the Ceiling Induced by Examining for Abdominal Tenderness

Celestial Discharge    means    Died

Celestial Transfer    means    Died (transferred to the Eternal Care Unit)

Cephosplat    means    Domestos Antibiotic; Kills All Known Germs

CFT    means    Chronic Food Toxicity(Obesity)

Champagne Tap    means    Bloodless Lumbar Tap

Chandelier's Sign    means    The Result of Any Test or Probing After Which the Patient Must Be Removed from the Chandelier

Chartomegaly    means    Patient is So Frequent S/he Has a Large (and Growing) Chart

Cheerioma    means    A Patient With a Highly Aggressive, Malignant Tumour

Choly / Chole    means    Patient With Cholecystitis (inflammation of the Gallbladder)

Chrome Induced Ischaemia    means    Patient That Develops Inexplicable Chest Pains when Arrested and Handcuffed

CKS    means    Cute Kid Syndrome

CLL    means    Chronic Low Life

Code 0    means    (Ambulance) Time-waster/tax-waster

Code Azure    means    Message to Other Medics to Do Nothing Extraordinary to Save a Very Ill Patient Who Will Die Shortly No Matter What is Done

Code Brown    means    Faecal Incontinence Emergency

Code Pink    means    Baby Taken Without Permission from Maternity/nursery by Family or Staff

Code Yellow    means    Urinary Incontinence Emergency

Coffin Dodger    means    Survived Against Expectations, or a Very Old Person

Cold-tea Sign    means    Refers to the Several Cups of Cold Tea on the Bedside Cabinet Beside a Dead Geriatric

COPD    means    Chronic Old Persons Disease

Cranial Rectosis    means    US: Butthead/ UK: Head-up-ass

Creepers    means    Geriatrics Using Walkers and Wheelchairs

CRI    means    Cranial-Rectal Inversion (head-up-ass Syndrome)

Crinkly    means    Geriatric

Crispy Critter    means    Severe Burns Case

Crock    means    Hypochondriac.

Crook-U    means    Prison Ward in a Hospital

Crop Rotation    means    Ambulance Shuttle Service from Nursing Home to Surgery and Back Again

CRT    means    Can't Really Treat

Crumble    means    Elderly Pati

CTD    means    Circling the Drain (Close To Death)

C&T Ward    means    Coma Ward - "cabbages and Turnips"

Cut and Paste    means    To Open a Patient, Discover That There is No Hope, and Immediately Sew Him up

Dagenham    means    Severely Disturbed/mad

Dance    means    The Process of Tying a Surgical Gown Behind the Surgeon's Back

Dandruff on Wheels    means    Scabies or Other Transmissible Flaky Skin Condition

D&D    means    Divorced and Desperate Impotence is legal grounds for divorce in 24 American states.

Deep Fry    means    Cobalt Therapy

Dement    means    Alzheimer Patient

DENTIST    means    Doesn't Even Need Treatment

Departure Lounge    means    Geriatric Ward

DFO    means    Drunk and Fell Over

DFO-SFJ    means    Done Fell Out - Screaming For Jesus

DIFFC    means    Dropped In For Friendly Chat

Digging for Worms    means    Varicose Vein Surgery

DIIK    means    Darned if I Know

Discharged Downstairs    means    Transferred to the Mor

Dishwasher    means    Sterilization Machine

Doc In A Box    means    A Small Clinic/health Centre, With Ever-changing Staff.

Doing the Twirly    means    Circling the Drain

Donorcycle    means    Motorbike: the Biggest Cause of Donated Organs!

Double Bind Trial    means    Two Orthopods Looking at an Electrocardiogra

Doughnut    means    CT Scanner

DPS    means    Dumb Parent Syndr

DQ    means    Drama Queen

Dr Feelgood    means    A Doctor Who is Indiscriminate About Prescribing Drugs

Drinkectomy    means    Separating a Drunk from His Can of Lager

Drooler    means    Catatonic Patient.

DRT    means    Dead Right There

DRTTTT    means    Dead Right There, There, There and There (patient Dead and in Multiple Parts at Scene of Accident)

DSB    means    Drug-Seeking Behaviour

DTMA    means    Don't Transfer to Me Again.

DTS    means    Danger To Shipping (in a Particularly Large Patient's Record)

Duck    means    Portable Urinal for Bedridden Male Hospital Patients

Dude Factor    means    Survival Scoring Factor Based on Social Worth.

Dunlap Syndrome    means    Belly Done Lapped over the Waistband; Obese

DWPA    means    Death/Dying With Paramedic Assistance

Dys-Synaptogenic    means    Stupid

Eating the Bill    means    - Providing Care for Indigent Patients Lacking Insurance

Eating In    means    Intravenous Feeding

EDGATWTTTF    means    Elevator Doesn't Go All The Way To The Top Floor

EMS    means    Earn Money Sleeping (joke at Expense of Emergency Medical Service)

EMT    means    Extraordinary Masochistic Tendencie

ERCP    means    Emergency Retrograde Clerking of Patient

ERNOBW    means    Engine Running, No One Behind the Wheel

Eternal Care    means    Intensive Care

ETOH    means    Extremely Trashed or Hammered

Expensive Scare    means    Intensive Care

FABIANS    means    Felt Awful But I'm Allright Now Syndrome

Family Care Plan    means    One Child Gets the Sniffles, Whole Family Gets a Trip to Doctor

Fanger    means    Oral Surgeon

FCBP    means    Fellow of the College of Bystander Physicians I.e. Doctor Having a Look-see

FDSTW    means    Found Dead Stayed That Way

Feather Count    means    Measure of Flakiness

Feet-up General    means    A Quiet District Hospital

FFDID    means    Found Face Down In Ditch

FFDIG    means    Found Face Down In Gutter

Finger Wave    means    Rectal Exam

FLB    means    Funny Little Bumps (unexplained Skin Bumps)

FLKBCOTP    means    Funny Looking Kid But Check Out The Parents

FLK    means    Funny Looking Kid

FLK W/ GLM    means    Funny Looking Kid With a Good Looking Mother

Flower Sign    means    Flowers at a Bedside, Denotes Patient Has a Supportive Family and Might Be Candidate for Early Discharge

FLP    means    Funny Looking Parents

Fluttering Eye Syndrome    means    Patient Faking Unconsciousness

FODE    means    Falling On Deaf Ears

FOOBA    means    Found On Ortho Barely Alive

FORD    means    Found On Road Dead

FOS    means    Found On Street: Unidentified Dead Homeless Person

FPO    means    For Practice Only (FTD)

Frequent Flyer    means    Someone Who is Transported to and from Hospital on a Routine Basis

Freud Squad    means    Psychiatrists

Fruit Salad    means    Group of Stroke Patients, All Unable to Take Care of Themselves

FTD    means    Fixing To Die

FTF    means    Failed to Fly (botched Suicide)

Full Moon    means    Full or Overcrowded Waiting Room

Gardening    means    Attending to Patients in Neurological Intensive Care.

Garden    means    Neurosurgical Intensive Care Ward, So Called Because of the "vegetables" Found There.

Gassers OR Gas Passers    means    Anaesthetists

Gatekeeper    means    General Practice Doctor Whose Role is to Keep Costs Low by Only Allowing a Certain Number of Patients to Go to Specialists

GDA    means    Gonna Die Anyway

Geosphere    means    Dirt Ball

GI Rounds    means    A Meal

GLM    means    Good Looking Mum

GOA    means    Gone On Arrival

Goat Rodeo    means    Emergency Scene Which Goes Badly

God's Waiting Room    means    Intensive Care Unit And/or Geriatric Unit

GOK    means    God Only Knows

Goldbrick    means    Patient Who Demands More Attention Than Their (minor) Condition Warrants.

Golden Ass    means    Affluent Mother Who Treats the Obstetrics Nurses Like Servants

GOMER    means    Get Out of My Emergency Room Extended to mean elderly patient who is unable to communicate their symptoms and passed from one department to another

Gomergram    means    Ordering All Available Tests Because the Person is Unable to Explain What is Wrong With Them

Gone Camping    means    Patient in Oxygen Tent

Gorillacillin    means    Very Powerful Antibiotic

Gork    means    Comatose or Brain Dead

Gorked Out    means    Mental Impairment Through Disease or Substance Abuse

Go to Ground    means    Fall out of Bed or Chair

GPO    means    Good for Parts Only (won't Survive)

GRAFOB    means    Grim Reaper At Foot Of Bed

GRAHOB    means    Grim Reaper At Head Of Bed

Grapes    means    Haemorrhoids

Gravity Assisted Concrete Poisoning    means    Jumped/fell from Height

GTTL    means    Gone to the Light (died)

Guessing Tubes    means    Stethoscope

Gun and Rifle Club    means    Trauma Ward Full of Gunshot and Stabbing Victims

HAIRY PSALMS    means    Haven't Any Idea Regarding Your Patient, Send A Lot More Serum

Hallucinoma    means    A Mass Seen on a Scan or X-ray That Wasn't Really There

HALS    means    Hit And Left Standing

Hamburger (Helper)    means    Train or Juggernaut Vs Pedestrian

Hammered    means    To Get Numerous Admissions While on Call

Hammer    means    Local Anesthetic

Head Bonk    means    An Otherwise Uninjured Patient Who Was Struck on the Head

Head    means    A Brain-injury Patient.

Head Whack    means    Head Injury

Healthy Goober    means    Dead Tumour Patient.

Hearts and Farts    means    Unit Specialising in Geriatrics and Cardiology

Hepatology Conference    means    Doctors Meeting at a Pub or Bar No late appointments, I'm going to a hepatology conference.

Hey Docs (or Haydock)    means    Alcoholics Handcuffed to Wheelchairs in Big-city Medical Wards Who Chorus "Hey, Doc! when They See a White Coat"

Hi 5    means    HIV Positive

HIBGIA    means    Had It Before, Got It Again

Hippo    means    Hypochondriac or Depressive

Hit and Run    means    The Act of Operating Quickly So As Not to Be Late for Another Engagement

HIVI    means    Husband Is Village Idiot

HMF    means    Hysterical Mother Figure

Hole-in-One    means    A Gunshot Wound Through the Mouth or Rectum.

HOPEFUL    means    Hard-up Old Person Expecting Full Useful Life

Horrendoplasty    means    Difficult Operation for 12 Hours on a Patient With a BMI of 45

Hospital Hobo Syndrome    means    Person Who Visits Multiple Hospitals Seeking Attention or Accommodation

House Red    means    Blood

HTD    means    Higher Than a Duck

HTK    means    Higher Than a Kite

Humpty-dumpty Doctor    means    A Physiotherapist or Rehabilitation Doctor

HVLT    means    High Velocity Lead Poisoning: Gunshot Wound

Hypoxanaxemia    means    Patient With Anxiety Symptoms (Xanax Deficiency)

Icing on the Cake    means    Lethal Tumor Discovered in the X-rays of a Heart Attack Victim.

Improving His Claim    means    Victim of Minor Accident, Needs No Treatment but Wants Something to Support His Insurance/legal Claim.

Inbreds    means    Doctors Whose Parents Are Also Doctors

Incarcaphobia    means    Patient is Hypochondriac Prisoner Who Prefers Hospital to Jail Cell

Incarceritis    means    Becoming Dubiously Ill when Arrested or in Court

Incidentaloma    means    A Usually Benign Mass (needing Removal) Found on a Scan While Looking for Something else Entirely

Insurance Pain    means    Neck Pain Secondary to a Minor Car Bump

Insurance Whiplash    means    Neck Pain Secondary to a Minor Car Bump

International House of Pancakes    means    Neurology Ward Full of Patients All Babbling in a Different Language.

Intubate Junior/Intubate Willy    means    Catheterise a Man

ISQ    means    In Status Quo ("no Change"): Often Used During the Weekend Surgical Round

ITBNTL    means    In The Box, Nail The Lid (dead or Dying)

Jailitis    means    Becoming Dubiously Ill While in Custody or in a Jail Cell JLD

JPS    means    Just Plain Stupid

Kidney Stone Squirm    means    A Spot Diagnosis in A&E

Knife and Gun Club    means    Local Street Gangs or Criminal Organizations That Keep ER in Business

Knife-happy    means    An Overly Enthusiastic Surgeon

Knuckledragger    means    Orthopedic Doctor/Surgeon

Larry    means    Locum, As in "doing a Larry"

Last Flea To Jump Off A Dead Dog    means    Oncologists Who Seem Unable to Let People Die With Diginity

LDF    means    Lying Down Fit

Leeches    means    Those Who Take Blood Samples, E.g. Lab Techs

LFTWM    means    Looking for 3 Wise Men Applied to young pregnant females who deny paternity

LGFD    means    Looks Good from Door LGFTC - Looks Good from the Corridor (but Not Closely Examined)

Lignocephalic    means    Wooden-headed

Liver Rounds    means    Staff Party, So Called Because of Liver-damaging Alcohol

LMC    means    Low Marble Count (low IQ)

LOBNH    means    Lights On But Nobody Home

LOFD    means    Looks Okay From Door

LOLFDGB    means    Little Old Lady, Fall Down, Go Boom

LOLINAD    means    Little Old Lady In No Acute Distress

LOL    means    Little Old Lady

Loop-the-loop    means    Flamboyant Surgical Rearrangement of the Intestines.

Loose Change    means    Dangling Limb in Need of Amputation.

LPT    means    Low Pain Threshold

LRO    means    Luck Ran Out (cheated Death Before, but Not This Time)

Map of Antarctica    means    Appearance of Fatal Spontaneous Brain Haemorrhage on CT Scan

MARPs    means    Mind Altering Recreational Pharmaceuticals

Marriageable Monster    means    Young Female Patient Who Has Successfully Undergone Major Plastic Surgery.

Matern-a-taxi    means    When a Pregnant Woman Calls an Ambulance Because the Contractions Are Every 2 Minutes, but She Doesn't Have a Single Contraction During a 30 Minute Journey to Hospital

Meat Hooks    means    Surgical Instruments.

Metabolic Clinic    means    The Tea Room

MGM Syndrome    means    Faker Putting on a Real Good Show

Michelin's Disease/Disorder    means    Multiple Spare Tyres (obese)

MICO    means    Masterly Inactivity and Catlike Observation

MICOS    means    Masterly Inactivity, Cat-like Observation and Steroids

Microdeckia    means    Patient Playing With Less That a Full Deck (low IQ

Molar Masher    means    Dentist

Mononeuronis Asynapsis    means    Thick (one Neuron, Not Connected!)

MUH    means    Messed up Heart

MU Pain    means    Made Up Pain (especially for Sick Notes and Insurance Claims)

NAD    means    Not Actually Done

NARS    means    Not a Rocket Scientist (low IQ)

Negative Wallet Biopsy    means    Patient Transferred to Cheaper Hospital Because S/he Has No Insurance/funds

NGMI    means    Not Going to Make It

NKDA    means    Not Known, Didn’t Ask

NLPR    means    No Longer Playing Records (dying)

No Hopeamine    means    Dopamine

Not Even in the Ball Game    means    Confused, Senile Patient

NPS    means    New Parent Syndrome

NQRITH    means    Not Quite Right In the Head

NQR    means    Not Quite Right

NSA    means    Non-Standard Appearance

OAP    means    Over-Anxious Patient

OB/GYN    means    Actually Means Obstetric/Gynaecology

Obs and Gobs    means    Obstetrics and Gynaecology

OFIGATOOS    means    One Foot In the Grave And The Other One Slipping

OFIG    means    One Foot In the Grave

Old Man's Friend    means    Pneumonia, an Illness Which Often Carried off the Elderly

Oligoneuronal    means    "few Brain Cells"

Ooh-Aahs    means    Those Who Gather to Gawk at an Emergency and Go "Oooh, Aaah"

OPD    means    Obnoxious Personality Disorder

Organ Recital    means    A Hypochondriac’s Medical History

Orthopod    means    Orthopaedic Doctor

O Sign    means    Patient Unconscious With Mouth Open

Osteocephaly    means    Boneheaded

Ostrich Treatment    means    Pretend It's Not There and Hope It Goes Away

OTD&DDR    means    Out The Door and Down The Road.

OTDPDS    means    Out The Door Pretty Damn Soon

Overpriced Carpenter    means    Orthopaedic Doctor

PAFO    means    Pissed [Drunk] And Fell Over

Paninvestigram    means    Order All the Tests; for when You Haven't Got a Clue What's Going on

Pathology Outpatients    means    Follow-up for Dead People

Paws Up    means    Dead

PBAB    means    Pine Box At Bedside

PBOO    means    Pine Box On Order

PBS    means    Pretty Bad Shape

Pediatron    means    Paediatrician

Peek and Shriek    means    Open a Patient Surgically, Discover an Incurable Condition, and Close the Incision Immediately

Percussive Maintenance    means    The Sharp Tap/bang Which Cures Faulty Equipment

Pest Control    means    Term Applied to Psychiatrists by Casualty Officers

PFO    means    Pissed [Drunk] and Fell Over

PGT    means    Pissed [Drunk] and Got Thumped

Pharmaceutically Enhanced Personality    means    Stoned or Medicated

PHAT    means    Pretty Hot and Tempting

Pink Puffer    means    Patient Breathing Rapidly Due to Lung Disease

PITA    means    Pain in the Ass

Pit    means    The Emergency Room

Plank Positive    means    Stupid, As in "thick As 2 Short Planks"

PLH    means    Pray Long and Hard

PLTDP    means    Practice Limited To Dead People

Plumboscillation    means    Swinging the Lead (malingering)

Plumbum Oscillans    means    Latin for "swinging the Lead" (malingering) I.e Seeking a Sick Note to Take Time off Work

Pneumo-cephalic    means    Airhead

Podo-Oral    means    Foot in Mouth

Policeman Lesion    means    Lesion on an X-ray So Obvious That a Policeman Would Spot It

Polydipose Dysfunction    means    Big, Fat Patient

Pop Drop    means    Granny Dumping (dumping Elderly Relative at Casualty Dept)

POPTA    means    Passed Out Prior To Arrival

PORG    means    Person Of Restricted/Retarded Growth (dwarf/midget)

Positive Hilton Sign    means    Demanding Patient Expects Hilton Hotel Luxury; Indicates Patient Well Enough to Leave!

Pot Plant    means    Person in a Persistant Vegetative State (often Used in Plural to Mean Coma Ward)

PPA    means    Practicing Professional Alcoholic

Pre-Detention Stress Disorder    means    A Person Who Feigns Medical Symptoms when Police Handcuff Him

Pre-stiff    means    Terminally Comatose Patient.

Psychoceramics    means    Psycho-geriatrics

Pumpkin Positive    means    A Penlight Shone Into the Patient's Mouth/ear Would Encounter a Brain So Small That the Whole Head Would Light up

Purple (code Purple)    means    When Paramedics Are Called out to a Dead Body

Purple Plus    means    Called out to Collect a Dead Body That's Started to Fester

PVC Challenge    means    To Intubate Someone.

QID    means    Queen in Distress (hissy Fit)

Q Sign    means    Patient Unconscious/ Terminal With Mouth Open and Tongue Hanging out "Dotted Q" means flies land on tongue (dead/dying)

Q-Tip    means    Elderly Person (white Haired Old Person)

Quackpractor    means    Chiropractor

Qwertyitis    means    What a Doctor Suffers from when He Spends More Time on a Computer Than With Actual Patients

Rabbit    means    Over-talkative (from Slang "Rabbit & Pork - Talk)

Ralphie McYakkers    means    Young Drunks Vomiting

Rapid Lead Infusion    means    Obnoxious Patient Ought to Be Shot

RBG    means    Received by God

RBS    means    Really Bad Shape

Rear Admiral    means    Proctologist

Rear Admiralty    means    Proctology Dept

Removal Men    means    Dept of Care of Elderly People

Retrospectoscope    means    Instrument of Hindsight

Rheumaholiday    means    Rheumatology Considered by hard-pressed juniors to be a less busy dept

Road Chilli    means    Unrestrained Driver/motorcyclist or Passenger, Ejected and Splattered

Road Map    means    Injuries Incurred by Going Through a Car Windshield Face First.

Road Pizza    means    Unrestrained Driver/motorcyclist or Passenger, Ejected and Splattered

Roasted Goober    means    Tumour After Intensive Cobalt Treatment.

Rocket Room    means    A Ward/unit Where There Are Many Deaths (many Transfers to Heaven)

Rooters    means    Indigents and Hangers-on Who Gather in Big-city Emergency Rooms in Order to Be Entertained by Legitimate Cases.

Rose Cottage    means    Mortuary

Rothman's Sign    means    Tobacco Staining of Fingers

Rounding Up The Usual Suspects    means    Ordering a Set of Tests for a Given Set of Symptoms

RPVU    means    Relative Porsche Value Unit: Surgical Index of Potential Income from the Repair of Patient Injuries, Usually Orthopaedic in Nature.

RT    means    Room Temperature (dead)

RTT With a BBB    means    Rat-a-Tat-Tat With a Baseball Bat (hit With Blunt Instrument).

Rule of Five    means    If More Than Five of the Patient's Orifices Are Obscured by Tubing, He Has No Chance

Samsonite Positive (Positive Samsonite Test)    means    Someone Who Turns up in Emergency With All Their Luggage (and Insists on Being Admitted to a Ward)

SBI    means    Something Bad Inside E.g. Undiagnosed Cancer/unexpected Serious Condition Found when Performing Surgery

September Club    means    The Students Who Have to Return After Summer Holidays for Retakes

Serum Porcelain    means    Battery of Blood Tests on an Elderly Patient

Serum Rhubarb    means    What They Test for at Tertiary Centres

SF Scale    means    Sphincter Factor Scale: 1 to 10 Scale Indicating Degree of Bowel-loosening in Response to an Emergency

SFS    means    Stinky Foot Syndrome (often Related to Homeless)